When I hold exactly still, even the noise of the city is quiet for a moment. If I could just stay still for one moment longer, nothing will change. Everything will stay exactly how it is in this one perfect moment. I can the feel the coolness of the earth seep through my clothes and just in this perfect moment, nothing else matters. The breeze dances on my skin and ruffles my curls as if it wants me to follow it, beckoning me to get up and walk somewhere. I’ve always thought the wind was helpful; trying to push me in the right direction. The sky is bright and clear, like a painter took care to make the colors fade perfectly into one another. Once I let myself breathe again, the cars begin to move sluggishly and the birds on the roof behind me tip tap their claws on the metal. What holds my attention the most are the oriental cherry trees in full bloom. Confidence, if ever I saw it.
If I move, life will go on. I know that it must because even as I beg it not to, the sun begins to set behind the spires of the church across the street. If I just play a song and sing along, the moments go by slower. I don’t even care if anyone hears. I wish for a moment that I had someone to share this with, but chatter would ruin the moment; speeding up the slowness of loneliness. Maybe it is the sadness in the world and in me that makes this moment so beautiful. It makes me wonder what really matters in life. If I can sit exactly still and be the happiest I have been in a long time then what is all the rushing about? What if I’m not happy doing anything but sitting still? For the first time in a long time, I feel really pretty, strong. And confident, like the trees. And who cares what I’m supposed to do or who I’m supposed to see. I am the only thing that I should look out for.